Alex Case asks

The web wouldn’t be the web without its crackpot theories, and we have been honoured with a fair number of these, ranging from the latest artificial universal language that promises world peace and happiness before disappearing without trace to novel ways of viewing the English language, including a theory about how English would have to become a tonal language as we can only remember a tiny fraction of the number of words Chinese speakers can commit to memory, and have also declined disastrously in our memorisation powers since Shakespeare’s time, though the connection to tonal languages and our historical decline was less clear.

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